My life was falling apart.
For the past 10 years, I had been fighting against the worst bout of depression I had ever experienced in my life.
The black dog had taken everything. I was too mentally sick to keep a job. My friends had stopped calling when I refused an invitation too many. My father, unable to cope with my disease and my mum’s apathy, had left the family.
Now my boyfriend, the man I had been with for 12 years and thought I would one day marry, was breaking up with me, too.
I felt like my world was crumbling down on me. Everything I had ever known, disappeared. Everything I had ever believed in, a lie. Everything I had ever dreamed of, gone.
Where do you go from there?
Something in me snapped. I know this was make or break time. I could either pierce back the broken pieces of my life and create a new story or give up the fight and wait to die.
I wanted to fight but I didn’t know how. I had no idea what to do or what step to take. I was mired in insecurities, wallowing in self-doubt. I had no certainties anymore.
Or did I…?
Thinking about it, there were only two things I knew for sure.
I knew for sure I didn’t belong in Senigallia. Heck, I didn’t belong in the whole of Italy.
I also knew for sure I wanted to write.
And even though I had no idea how to make it all happen, I knew that’s where I had to start. In the midst of all my confusion, these two things gave me something to clutch onto. A foundation on which to write the next chapter of my story.
London seemed like a good place for lost souls to begin anew. So, I packed my laptop and a few belongings into a suitcase and left.
I’d be lying if I said I have it all figured out. I don’t know if I’ll become the next J. K. Rowling, write a bestseller or even publish any book at all. I don’t even know if London is where I’ll stay for the rest of my life.
But it doesn’t matter. These two things gave me a compass to point me in the right direction.
And so, any time I’m feeling overwhelmed and uncertain and not knowing which path to take, I ask myself. “What do you know for sure right now, this very moment?”
Follow the answer.
Over to you, now. What do you know for certain right now and how is that pointing you in the right direction?