Regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (chiefly considered as a desirable rather than narcissistic characteristic).
Make time for “me time”.
Put yourself first.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve struggled with this. The idea of curling up on the sofa with a good book and leave all my cares and responsibilities behind sounds great… but selfish.
How can you take so much time for yourself when you have work deadlines to meet, friends who need a shoulder to cry on and a gazillion other responsibilities to take care of?
Have you ever noticed that when you don’t take the time to recharge yourself you don’t do your best work, aren’t as present with your friends and just don’t show up at your best in the world?Self-love doesn't mean you don't care about others. It means you take good care of yourself so you can take better care of others.
Put like that, it’s not such a terrible thing, is it? I firmly believe we wouldn’t have such a hard time cultivating self-love if we better understood what it really is.
So today let’s bust some myths about self-love. Warning: the truth could change your life:
myth 1: self-love is selfish
Selfishness is doing what you want without caring about other people’s feelings and needs. It’s not showing up at work because you’d rather stay at home watching TV. Self-love is about taking good care of yourself so you can better take care of others. It’s shutting off your computer at 8pm so you can relax for a couple of hours and wake up in the morning with plenty of energy to do your job and do it well. Pulling all nighters may please your boss but only until you both realise how poor the quality of your work is. Isn’t THAT selfish?
You’re not taking time for yourself because you don’t care about others. You’re taking time for yourself because you care so much you want to be at your best to help them.
myth 2: if I take time for myself, I can’t be there for others
I know what you’re thinking. If I take the time to have a relaxing bath, who is gonna make dinner tonight? What if I shut off my phone for 20 minutes to meditate and my BFF calls me cos she needs my help with something?
It’s easy to think that if you take time for yourself you’re taking something away from others. The opposite is true. You’re taking time for yourself so you can give more to others. You can cook that dinner without feeling resentful that you never have 5 minutes for yourself. You can be fully present when your friend calls and give her your best advice with a clear head.
If your cup is empty, you won’t have anything to give in the first place.
[clickToTweet tweet=”If your cup is empty, you won’t have anything to give in the first place. ” quote=”If your cup is empty, you won’t have anything to give in the first place. “]
myth 3: self-love is a form of vanity
Put on your fanciest dress. Wear lipstick. Spray on a nice perfume. Sometimes, it seems self-love is all about looks and appearances. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Pampering yourself is only one of the main ways you can take care of yourself. You can also go for a walk, meditate, do yoga, eating nourishing foods, enjoy a girl’s night out. Self-love is about honouring your needs and treating your body like a temple so you can give more to others.
If you’re ready to start on your self-love journey, click the image below to download the “Self-Love Buffet” worksheet. It has 30+ ideas to help you sprinkle even more self-love into your day.
Over to you, now. What myths about self-love are your struggling with the most? Share your thoughts in the comments below.