Remember when we talked about all the things you don’t have to do?

You don’t have to get married if you don’t want to. Or hang out with Negative Nancies. Or stay in a job you hate.

But… what if you do?

Cos there are bills to pay. Promises to keep. Loved ones to take care of. And maybe the Negative Nancy in your life is one of them.

Sometimes, it feels like life is an endless series of obligations with no way out.


I remember when I first started freelance writing. I wanted to use my gift for writing to help people and be in control of my time but I only attracted clients who wanted me to write veiled ads for their products and demanded I was at their beck and call at every hour of the day and night.

I resented every second I was wasting on those projects and the clients who were forcing me to do it but I didn’t see how I could get out of them. I had bills to pay. My partner was relying on me to pay half the rent. I had a business to bootstrap.

Or when I promised a relative I would visit them but then something more fun came up and I had to turn it down so I could honour my previous commitment.

Or when I’m thanking a friend for a gift I didn’t like because that’s the only polite thing to do.

Obligations. Obligations. Obligations. Life’s full of them.


Obligations suck. They restrain your freedom. Bind you to obedience. Squeeze all the joy out of life.

Choices are awesome. They give you freedom. Open up new possibilities. Sprinkle joy into your life.

Truth bomb: obligations are choices you made.


You’ve got free will, gorgeous. Everything is a choice.

You stay in a job you hate because you decided to pay your bills, support yourself and your family and build up a safety net for when you’re ready to transition careers.

You visit your aunt even if meeting up with a friend would be more fun because you’re choosing to be a loving niece and a moral human who honours her commitments.

You thank your friend for a present you don’t like because you choose to be kind instead than hurtful.

No obligation. Just choice. No victimhood. Just empowerment. No resentment. Just integrity.

Can you feel the resentment evaporate now?

Reframe obligations into choices. Only then you can show up fully.

With love,

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