Funny how we think that more will make us happier…
“I will be happy when I’ll have more money/more designer clothes in my wardrobe/more holidays planned for the year…”
But the more you accumulate, the further away happiness moves.
What if you did the opposite? What if happiness were about letting go instead than getting more?
Letting go of all the things that hold you back but you desperately cling to out of fear. Like control. Expectations. Your Inner Mean Girl.
Can you imagine how much different – better – your life would be without all that painful baggage?
Time to find out. Here are 5 things to give up now for a happier life:
1. Give Up Control
I’m a recovering control freak. For years, I had this obsessive need to plan every second of every day, be in charge of everything and tell others what to do so as to avoid unpleasant surprises. And then I’d end up frustrated and stressed because something would come up to ruin my plans or other people preferred to do things their way.
Knowing what happens next makes you feel safe… but it’s a false sense of security. No one knows for sure what’s gonna happen and if you don’t allow space for flexibility, you’re gonna be stressed all the time. Just allow life to happen. Situations to unfold. People to be. Enjoy the ride – however bumpy it may be.
2. Give Up Validation
Checking your Instagram followers every few minutes. Wearing skimpy clothes to attract a guy’s attention. Pretending to be someone you’re not so others will like you. These are all signs you’re seeking external validation.
Truth bomb: you don’t need anyone to tell you you’re worthy. You ARE worthy.
You’re an incredible human being just the way you are. Stop trying to impress others. Be yourself. Do what makes YOU happy. The moment you step into your true self, that’s when people are drawn to you.
3. Give Up Expectations
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” – William Shakespeare
You help a friend and expect her to return the favour but she doesn’t. You expect your boyfriend to figure out why you’re upset with him but he doesn’t have a clue he did something wrong. You expect your boss to give you a promotion but he has other ideas.
You can’t control other people’s feelings, thoughts and behaviours. So just do your part without expecting anything in return. If they reciprocate, you’ll be all the more grateful. If they don’t, you’ll still be happy knowing you did your best.
4. Give Up Your Limited Beliefs (And Their Cheerleader, Inner Mean Girl)
Can you hear it? That nagging voice in your head that tells you you’re not good/pretty/smart/funny/whatever enough and that you’ll never amount to anything? That’s your Inner Mean Girl shouting your negative beliefs back at you.
Don’t believe her. Don’t allow her self-limiting beliefs to tell you what you can and can’t do. You’re capable of so much more than you think of. That thing you really want to do – go out there and do it. You’ve got what it takes.
Related: How To Master Your Inner Mean Girl
5. Give Up Excuses
Excuses and limiting beliefs go hand in hand. If you have a limiting belief that says you’re not worthy of your dream job, your mind is gonna come up with all sorts of excuses to rationalise why you can’t have it. “It’s not the right time.” “I don’t have enough money to get a degree in the field.” “There are no opportunities in my small town.”
Drop the excuses. You know they’re not real. They’re just fear in disguise. Send them packaging and get to work. You can get anything you want if you take action and work hard to get there.
6. Give Up The Past
I know it’s hard. Some bad things happened in the past. People hurt you. Things went wrong. Chances passed you by. You’re still carrying all that pain and regret inside of you. Let it go. The past doesn’t exists anymore. It’s gone. The present moment is all you have. Make the most of it.
7. Give Up Blame
Who do you blame for what you don’t have, for hurting you, for your current situation in life? Is it helping? I’m not saying other people never did you wrong but as long as you keep pointing fingers and hurling blame, you’re giving your power away. You can’t control what other people say or do, remember? But you can take responsibility for your life. Figure out what you don’t like and change it. You’ve got this gorgeous.
Over to you, now. What do you need to give up to live a happier life?