I got asked this question so many times in the days before I finally left for London. It had taken me more than 10 years to summon enough courage to book that one-way ticket.
I did it at the worst possible moment, too. My parents were getting separated. My boyfriend had dumped me after more than 12 years together. Money was tight. I had no job.
I wish I could tell you something snapped in me. That I had my “Eureka!” moment while brushing my teeth in the morning or had a life-changing realisation while reading a spiritual book.
The truth is different.
I was bored senseless. Pure and simple.
My days all followed the same pattern. Wake up at 6:00 am. Have breakfast. Write a new blog post. Take a break and read a book. Write another blog post. Have lunch. Do some blog-related task. Read some more. Repeat till dinner. Have dinner. Write, read, repeat till 10:00 pm. Go to bed. Wake up the next morning and do it all again.
Ok, there was some variety. Sometimes, I’d go out with a friend. Visit a nearby town. Do some shopping. With the same people. In the same old places. Talking about the same old things.
I desperately longed for something new. Like learning French. Do some horse riding. Move to a big, exciting city.
But every time I’d even think about taking the plunge, I’d hear that voice shout in my head:
“You know how long it takes to learn French? You’ll soon get discouraged and give up, as you always do. Do you really want to add another failure to your already too long list of failures, you loser?”
“Horse-riding? Really?! Do you want to fall down and break your neck, you stupid girl?”
“Move to a big, exciting city? You?! But, if you’re afraid of your own shadow! We both know you’ll be back in Senigallia with your tail between your legs within a month. Do yourself a favour and spare yourself the embarrassment.”
That’s what my Inner Mean Girl told me every single time I wanted to try something new. I know yours is doing the same.
Your Inner Mean Girl Is Afraid
All Inner Mean Girls are the same. They’re all scared little girls trying to stay safe in a world that scares the crap out of them.
Even something as ordinary as learning a new language is terrifying for your Inner Mean Girl. She perceives every mistake, setback and failure as life-threatening.
That’s what fear does to you. It blows the littlest mistake out of all proportions, making you believe that your entire life will fall apart if you dare take the tiniest step outside of your comfort zone and do something new. Even something as ordinary as learning a new language.Your fear isn't evil. It just wants to keep you safe from harm. But to do it, it has to destroy all your creativity, passions and dreams.
Without them, life becomes a boring series of obligations, duties and automated tasks. Can you imagine anything more boring than that?
How To Get Out Of Boredom Town And Live An Exciting Life
Listening to your Inner Mean Girl and her fears hasn’t done you any good until now. Shouting at her won’t either.
Your Inner Mean Girl is a scared little girl. And scared little girls need reassurance, so:
- Listen to her: let her pour her fears out and tell you what she’s afraid will happen to you if you dare do that thing you’ve been thinking of.
- Reassure her: tell her that you understand she’s trying to keep you safe. Reassure her that, should you ever want to go jogging through a bad neighbourhood at 3:00 am, you will listen to her and stay home. But this isn’t so dangerous. Yes, you will make a few mistakes along the way, but they won’t get you killed or turned into an outcast. You’re a big girl now and know how to get back up if you fall.
- Encourage her: tell her of all the wonderful things that’ll happen when you have the guts to go for it. How you will be able to effortlessly navigate your way through Paris. How free you will feel when you go for a ride in the woods, with the wind gently sweeping through your hair. All the amazing friends you will meet in a new city and the new places you’ll explore. Do you really want to miss out on all that?
- Go get them girl!: give your Inner Mean Girl a hug and go for it!
If you do, your life will get a lot more exciting, I promise you!
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Over to you know. In what ways is your fear making your life a complete bore and are you ready to switch things up a bit and try something new?